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HOW DO I LOVE THEE?… (a letter to a sister with Global Development Delay)

/ lucylu / 2 Comments

Dear sister,

What happened to us? …

When we were kids, I thought we were twins.

Because we always had the same dress, sewed by our mother. Wherever I went, you had to go with me; playing outside, eating, taking a bath, watching TV and so on. Whenever we had a party or there’s an event in the house, mom would not let me help her with the chores. She would always tell me, “stay with your sister and that would be enough”. We were inseparable back then.

I grew up looking after you like I had to do for myself. It’s like I had two selves since we only had a two-years age gap. Being with you was like being alone with myself. So I had a lot of time to read books, watch movies and try writing.

Mother said you had your separate world, and if someone wanted to understand you, they must enter into your world. And so I did.

At an early age, I learned how to train a one-year-old child to use a spoon and fork when eating, to use the toilet when nature called, to get dressed, to combed hair after every shower, to sit properly.

You were that one-year-old.

I learned how to be responsible for other people because of you. You taught me how to take care of others without expecting something in return. You taught me to be patient, to be sensitive to other people’s need, to control my emotions, to always think ten times before doing something stupid. You taught me to be perfect, or at least act perfectly.

I think you’re lucky to have us, as a family. Aside from our parents, you have six sisters and brothers to look after you. It’s a good thing also that you’re the fifth child to be born out of seven children. At 41 years old, you are still our baby.

And so I thought.

For the last 6 months, you’ve had an ear infection that caused your head to develop sores and made you completely lose your hair. The regular visits to hospitals, which give you stress and fear, that worsened your condition, have not been easy.

These things are all new to you, and to us, too. We never thought this would come.

HOW DO WE LOVE THEE?

Are you really lucky to have us?

We isolated you from the world we lived in. None of us took the initiative to put in school, to be trained by professionals or medical experts regarding your condition. We took your freedom to lived a normal life, or at least learned how to take care of yourself, to freely expressed what you wanted.

If only we had known how to love you.

change

Image credit: Google

The yellow sponge

/ lucylu / 1 Comment

He’s the yellow sponge you can’t find in my kitchen

He’s the kind of employee every employer wants

He’s the only perfect friend made for Patrick

He can annoy the mean people with his happiness

While

He spends more time with my daughters than their father

He brings my daughters a good laugh

And

He inspires me on how he sees things.

can-i-be-excused-for-the-rest-of-my-life-19210896

 

 

 

Once in a while

/ lucylu / 11 Comments

Once in a while

I  close the umbrella and

feel the rain pours down

on me.

 

Once in a while

I take off my hat and

let the ray of the sun

warms me.

 

Once in a while

I let the pain remain

Just to be with you

Again…

 

 

 

 

 

Maybe (maybe not)

/ lucylu / Leave a comment

I do not believe that the meaning of life is a puzzle to be solved.

Life is. I am. Anything might happen.

And I believe I may invest my life with meaning. 

The uncertainty is a blessing in disguise.

If I were absolutely certain about all things, I would spend my life in anxious misery, fearful of losing my way. But since everything and anything are always possible, the miraculous is always nearby and wonders shall never, ever cease.

—robert fulghum, from the book Maybe (maybe not)

This is NOT a love story

/ lucylu / 9 Comments

We were neighbors

School mates in our younger years

I’ve had been one of the boys

A cousin of yours and your best friend once dated me

I had seen into your eyes

That you wanted me too

You’d just didn’t said a word.

 

Four years had passed

You confessed your feelings

And said “I love you”

The morning came

You were gone

Without saying a word.

 

I’ve moved on

You’d moved on

Then we meet again

We reconnect

We shared intimate moments

Me, as a single

You, as a married man

Before the night had ended

Without saying a word

I’m gone.

 

I’ve moved on

You’d moved on

Then we meet again

You, as a divorcee

Me, as a married woman

Without saying a word

We were just neighbors.

 

Dating

/ lucylu / 9 Comments

There you are again

Always on time

Never miss a day

With your warm greetings

With your contagious smile

With your sincere eyes

With your neatly ironed clothes

Asking what I want

Serving my favorite tea

Of course

Because you’re the waiter from the cafe.