HOW DO I LOVE THEE?… (a letter to a sister with Global Development Delay)

Dear sister,

What happened to us? …

When we were kids, I thought we were twins.

Because we always had the same dress, sewed by our mother. Wherever I went, you had to go with me; playing outside, eating, taking a bath, watching TV and so on. Whenever we had a party or there’s an event in the house, mom would not let me help her with the chores. She would always tell me, “stay with your sister and that would be enough”. We were inseparable back then.

I grew up looking after you like I had to do for myself. It’s like I had two selves since we only had a two-years age gap. Being with you was like being alone with myself. So I had a lot of time to read books, watch movies and try writing.

Mother said you had your separate world, and if someone wanted to understand you, they must enter into your world. And so I did.

At an early age, I learned how to train a one-year-old child to use a spoon and fork when eating, to use the toilet when nature called, to get dressed, to combed hair after every shower, to sit properly.

You were that one-year-old.

I learned how to be responsible for other people because of you. You taught me how to take care of others without expecting something in return. You taught me to be patient, to be sensitive to other people’s need, to control my emotions, to always think ten times before doing something stupid. You taught me to be perfect, or at least act perfectly.

I think you’re lucky to have us, as a family. Aside from our parents, you have six sisters and brothers to look after you. It’s a good thing also that you’re the fifth child to be born out of seven children. At 41 years old, you are still our baby.

And so I thought.

For the last 6 months, you’ve had an ear infection that caused your head to develop sores and made you completely lose your hair. The regular visits to hospitals, which give you stress and fear, that worsened your condition, have not been easy.

These things are all new to you, and to us, too. We never thought this would come.

HOW DO WE LOVE THEE?

Are you really lucky to have us?

We isolated you from the world we lived in. None of us took the initiative to put in school, to be trained by professionals or medical experts regarding your condition. We took your freedom to lived a normal life, or at least learned how to take care of yourself, to freely expressed what you wanted.

If only we had known how to love you.

change

Image credit: Google

Sleepover

Last night, while doing the dishes my 4 years old daughter was talking to me.

Daughter : Mom, was dad just sleeping over with us?

Me : Why do you ask?

Daughter : Because you already drove him away from our house. He just here because he misses us, his daughters.

Me : (Speechless)….

children

Imagecredit: Google

 

 

What Now?

You were called “Mr. Gentleman”

The new boy in senior high

The boy with a “chinito” eyes and perfect smile

Who wouldn’t noticed you?

You, who  had been an excellent student

You, whom I admired from a distance

You, whom I dreamed of day and night

Lucky I was, you noticed me too

The girl with a flat-chested breast

You even want me to be your girl

And yes, I want you too so badly

But fate disagreed with us

I lost you for a while, I thought

But two decades had passed

You came back

Not for love, but for friendship

Of course, how could I?

You have a wife and a kids

I have a husband and a kids, too

You are happy, I know

I am happy, I guess

So, what now?

 

 

Mom’s confession

( A letter to my daughters when they grow-up )

 

Dearest Ali, Alecs & Andie,

First, maybe you will be asking me why I named you name of a boys.

This was because I wanted you all to have a balance perspective of the human race. But in reality, your mother just playing mysterious.

Second, the picture of the boy from my old photo album during my high school years was not just a friend. He was my first love, I told you that I will tell you his name when you’ve grow-up.

” Dennis “.

Third, I confessed that me and dad was the one playing Santa Claus every Christmas. I’ve made all the stories every time you caught me wrapping toys. And somehow that made me practiced my creativity.

Fourth, I was a late bloomer. Your dad and I was married because you all came into our life unplanned. It scares me to death for having you.

Fifth, I never lied to you about the status of my relationship with your father.

Sixth, I hate it every time you asked me for help and all I can say was, you can do it on your own. It hurts me to teach you to not need me anymore.

Finally, my only goal as your mother is to raise you all that you don’t have to recover from your childhood.

And maybe you’ll thinking why your names starts with letter A?

It is because you’re my first and top priority.

Your mom.

P.S. You all know that I love you so much. That’s the one thing I don’t need to confess.

Amy

Dear Amy

You have no idea how I wanted to thank you for raising a good man  

 You have no idea how much I’ve been grateful for accepting me as I am

The kind words you said to me when everything failed between me and your son

The warmth touch of your hand when you consoled me when I was crying

Your own initiative to talked about what went wrong

Your reassuring words that whatever happen you will support me

Because of you, I have  learned how much your son loved me

Because of you, I knew that your son had been happy

Amy, you could have been my other mother

The kind of mother-in-law

I wish I had

If only your son has chosen me to be his wife.

This is for Rafa…

Everything begins with LOVE…

“Love doesn’t make the world go ’round; Love is what makes the food yummier.”

 

fuds

Your VOW sums up your Love for each other…

“If you live a hundred, I want to live a hundred minus one day so I never have to live without you”.  -A.A.Milne-

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And you thought you were complete, until it surprises you…

“A baby fills a place in your heart that you never knew was empty.”

preggy

And the D – day came …

 “Nothing is born into this world without labor”

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                “A child gives birth to a parent”

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             “God schedules birthday,not man”

-Robert Bradley-

Baby is out 8:17pm :) — at Manila Doctors Hospital.

        Baby is out 8:17pm — at Manila Doctors Hospital

    “When you cried,everyone smiles with joy”

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“We didn’t give you the gift of life. Life gave us the gift of you.”

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And Finally, some motherly thoughts :

You will never know what kind of parent you were or if you did it right  or wrong. Never. And you will worry about this and them as long as you live. But when your children have children and you watch them do what they do, you will have part of an answer.  -Robert Fulghum-