“When kids are torn between getting what they want and controlling themselves.”

My daughter’s letter to Santa this year.

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Dear Santa, I can explain…

Dear sister,

What happened to us? …

When we were kids, I thought we were twins.

Because we always had the same dress, sewed by our mother. Wherever I went, you had to go with me; playing outside, eating, taking a bath, watching TV and so on. Whenever we had a party or there’s an event in the house, mother would not let me help her in the chores. She would always tell me, “stay with your sister and that would be enough”. We were inseparable back then.

I grew-up looking after you like I had to do for my own self. It’s like I had two selves, since we only had two-years age gap. Being with you was like being alone with myself. So I had a lot of time to read books, watch movies and try writing.

Mother said you had your own separate world,  and if someone wanted to understand you, they must enter into your world. And so I did.

At the early age, I learned how to train a one-year-old child to use spoon and fork when eating, to use the toilet when nature called, to get dressed, to combed hair after every shower, to sit properly.

You were that one-year-old.

I learned how to be responsible for other people because of you. You taught me how to take care of others without expecting something in return. You taught me to be patient, to be sensitive to other people’s need, to control my emotions, to always think ten times before doing something stupid. You taught me to be perfect, or at least act perfectly.

I think you’re lucky to have us, as a family. Aside from our parents, you have six sisters and brothers to look after you. It’s a good thing also that you’re the fifth child to be born out of seven children. At 41 years old, you are still our baby.

And so I thought.

For the last 6 months, you’ve had an ear infection that caused your head to develop sores and made you completely lose your hair. The regular visits to hospitals, which give you stress and fear, that worsened your condition, have not been easy.

These things are all new to you, and to us, too. We never thought this would come.

HOW DO WE LOVE THEE?

Are you really lucky to have us?

We isolated you from the world we lived in. None of us took the initiative to put in school, to be trained by professionals or medical experts regarding your condition. We took your freedom to lived a normal life, or at least learned how to take care of yourself, to freely expressed what you wanted.

If only we had known  how to loved you.

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Imagecredit: Google

 

HOW DO I LOVE THEE?… (a letter to a sister with Global Development Delay)

Last night, while doing the dishes my 4 years old daughter was talking to me.

Daughter : Mom, was dad just sleeping over with us?

Me : Why do you ask?

Daughter : Because you already drove him away from our house. He just here because he misses us, his daughters.

Me : (Speechless)….

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Imagecredit: Google

 

 

Sleepover

You were called “Mr. Gentleman”

The new boy in senior high

The boy with a “chinito” eyes and perfect smile

Who wouldn’t noticed you?

You, who  had been an excellent student

You, whom I admired from a distance

You, whom I dreamed of day and night

Lucky I was, you noticed me too

The girl with a flat-chested breast

You even want me to be your girl

And yes, I want you too so badly

But fate disagreed with us

I lost you for a while, I thought

But two decades had passed

You came back

Not for love, but for friendship

Of course, how could I?

You have a wife and a kids

I have a husband and a kids, too

You are happy, I know

I am happy, I guess

So, what now?

 

 

What Now?

( A letter to my daughters when they grow-up )

 

Dearest Ali, Alecs & Andie,

First, maybe you will be asking me why I named you name of a boys.

This was because I wanted you all to have a balance perspective of the human race. But in reality, your mother just playing mysterious.

Second, the picture of the boy from my old photo album during my high school years was not just a friend. He was my first love, I told you that I will tell you his name when you’ve grow-up.

” Dennis “.

Third, I confessed that me and dad was the one playing Santa Claus every Christmas. I’ve made all the stories every time you caught me wrapping toys. And somehow that made me practiced my creativity.

Fourth, I was a late bloomer. Your dad and I was married because you all came into our life unplanned. It scares me to death for having you.

Fifth, I never lied to you about the status of my relationship with your father.

Sixth, I hate it every time you asked me for help and all I can say was, you can do it on your own. It hurts me to teach you to not need me anymore.

Finally, my only goal as your mother is to raise you all that you don’t have to recover from your childhood.

And maybe you’ll thinking why your names starts with letter A?

It is because you’re my first and top priority.

Your mom.

P.S. You all know that I love you so much. That’s the one thing I don’t need to confess.

Mom’s confession

Dear Amy

You have no idea how I wanted to thank you for raising a good man  

 You have no idea how much I’ve been grateful for accepting me as I am

The kind words you said to me when everything failed between me and your son

The warmth touch of your hand when you consoled me when I was crying

Your own initiative to talked about what went wrong

Your reassuring words that whatever happen you will support me

Because of you, I have  learned how much your son loved me

Because of you, I knew that your son had been happy

Amy, you could have been my other mother

The kind of mother-in-law

I wish I had

If only your son has chosen me to be his wife.

Amy