i saw you

i saw you

the other day

in the mall

while crossing the street

while talking to a friend

while taking a walk in the park

while driving to a distance

while drinking my coffee

while reading my novel

while observing the neighborhood

while looking at the window

while watching my fave game…

i saw you

NO !

my heart did see you

Because she’s longing for you.

He said, She said #3

(After a couple of months, finally he had the courage to tell me the truth)

He said :  “I’d changed. It was my fault. There is someone else.”

She said : “I apologize, I should have given you what you deserve.”

He said : “No! You have given me so much.”

She said : “That’s the point! I should given you what you only deserved!”

He said, She said 

(The confrontation when you got back and breaking up again to an ex-lover)

He said :  “To tell you frankly, I ‘d cried like a baby when you left me.”

She said :  “Cried like a baby???… I died when you left me!”

My Affairs

I can't live alone.

I repeat.


Having relationship have always been part of me.

I have a relationship with my bed.
The way it comforts me, soothe away my tiredness
It knows my fears and dreams
And it even kept secrets too.

I have a relationship with the sun.
But I think it was too perfect for me
Sometimes I thought bout the moon, the rain and the stars too

I have a relationship with the ONE
Though he was got away somehow
He still lives inside me

I have a relationship with my writings
It satisfies my need
Like having an intimate moment with a man

I wonder now
What would have been if I had a relationship with a real man
If there is such a thing.


5 Dangerous Signs That You’re Being Friendly With An EX

We’ve all been there.

The first time when you learn how to love; with his prince charming smile. The first moment you felt that everything around you is because of him. The first fight that made your world ruined, and how both of you kissed and make-up. Until the first time your heart broken when he said goodbye and didn’t go back.

Whether it’s your first or your Nth time heartbreak, it is still your heart that’s aching, broken and torn apart. And you don’t have any other choice but to move on. Move on with hope that all things will eventually work out for the best.

And it did.

The new and better you come alive, ready to kick; to fall in love again.

Until one day, he called and you answered.

You’ve reconnect and made friends again. Why not? After all  “past is past”, it’s OVER and DONE.

However, agreeing to be friend  to an ex-lover can be dangerous.

Here are the 5 Dangerous Signs (Alert ! Alert!)  that you’re being  too nice and friendly to an ex.

(1).  When chats turned to conversation

The millennial age gives us the most convenient way to reconnect with  people that were once part of our life. Those people that we thought were disappeared from the earth, unfortunately they don’t; including our exes. A simple “hello”  whenever you’re online that turned to conversation.; that turned to deep discussion.

(2).  When boundaries aren’t clear

I believe  that every relationship should have  boundaries. Every person should respect each other’s  individuality. But what if your boundaries with an ex-lover isn’t clear? Then, what is the status of your “friendship”, if there is something that called “friendship”?

(3). When one of you is dependent to the other

“When he’s all about that first person you wanna tell the good news to”.

A friend were supposed to be there when we needed a shoulder to cry on, when we want somebody to shared our joys, our fears and dreams.

(4).  When your ex still find you attractive

I once said to a former boyfriend that ” if you continued to see and talk to me you’ll be getting hard time looking for a perfect girl”. It was a joke, but it could be true somehow.

(5). When “jealousy” still exists

It’s a RED ALERT! There’s no good reason to stay friends with your ex when this happen.

Starting a relationship with an ex-lover can be dangerous, if it causes you emotional pain. If the motives of “being friend” isn’t clear. If he is in a current relationship but not with you.

Maturity doesn’t make sense, if that friendship  feels you weak, insecure and confuse.







What Now?

You were called “Mr. Gentleman”

The new boy in senior high

The boy with a “chinito” eyes and perfect smile

Who wouldn’t noticed you?

You, who  had been an excellent student

You, whom I admired from a distance

You, whom I dreamed of day and night

Lucky I was, you noticed me too

The girl with a flat-chested breast

You even want me to be your girl

And yes, I want you too so badly

But fate disagreed with us

I lost you for a while, I thought

But two decades had passed

You came back

Not for love, but for friendship

Of course, how could I?

You have a wife and a kids

I have a husband and a kids, too

You are happy, I know

I am happy, I guess

So, what now?



Without you

Without you, I am okay
Without you, I am good
Without you, I am great

Me, being okay doesn't mean I am completely okay without you
Me, being good doesn't mean I am not experiencing bad things without you
Me, being great doesn't mean I am not at lost without you
This is just me, without you.

Mom’s confession

( A letter to my daughters when they grow-up )


Dearest Ali, Alecs & Andie,

First, maybe you will be asking me why I named you name of a boys.

This was because I wanted you all to have a balance perspective of the human race. But in reality, your mother just playing mysterious.

Second, the picture of the boy from my old photo album during my high school years was not just a friend. He was my first love, I told you that I will tell you his name when you’ve grow-up.

” Dennis “.

Third, I confessed that me and dad was the one playing Santa Claus every Christmas. I’ve made all the stories every time you caught me wrapping toys. And somehow that made me practiced my creativity.

Fourth, I was a late bloomer. Your dad and I was married because you all came into our life unplanned. It scares me to death for having you.

Fifth, I never lied to you about the status of my relationship with your father.

Sixth, I hate it every time you asked me for help and all I can say was, you can do it on your own. It hurts me to teach you to not need me anymore.

Finally, my only goal as your mother is to raise you all that you don’t have to recover from your childhood.

And maybe you’ll thinking why your names starts with letter A?

It is because you’re my first and top priority.

Your mom.

P.S. You all know that I love you so much. That’s the one thing I don’t need to confess.